Tips with Trish: Face to face

Dear Trish,

I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now. We started out in the same friend group and found ourselves spending a lot of time together. We made it official a few months back. Since then, though, we seem to spend less time face to face. It’s like the title of “a relationship” made it weird. We are both really busy which makes it hard to find time to be together. We also say we want to be in the relationship but how can you make it work when you don’t physically see each other much? We snapchat more than we communicate in person. Is this enough? I want to talk with him about it, but I’m scared that he will want to end it.


Miss the face to face

Trish says,

Many people agree that communicating with others is scary. Communication involves risk. There is likely something more going on with you two than just your busy schedules. The pressure of making the relationship official likely added some stress to a relationship that was historically easy and comfortable. Not sure if this is an issue related to time or commitment. Either way, you need to talk with him.

On another note, communication makes us vulnerable. When we communicate, we put ourselves out there. Our thoughts, our beliefs and most of all, our feelings are out and exposed. I’m not sure why you two have been more distant with each other but you need to address it. Honesty is the way to go. It is not really fair to either of you if you don’t spend the time together that made the relationship a worthwhile risk at the start.

Some things to bring up include both of your expectations about the relationship and what you want it to look like. You may have different needs and expectations. Communicating that quality time is important to you might be new information for him. If you want more than he can give, that is good information for you, even though it might be hard.

Lastly, it is okay to want face to face time. We live in an era where technology replaces physical time together. Texting and facetiming is okay but not at the expense of physically being together. There is just nothing like the laugh or touch of another person who is right next to you. Don’t compromise on that.




Due to technological difficulties, articles from the Feb. 15 issue were posted late. The Lorian apologizes for the late update.

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Tricia Borelli is the Director of Counseling Services at Loras College. In Tips with Trish, she will answer student questions concerning anything that relates to keeping it together while doing this crazy thing called college. Send questions or comments to Ms. Borelli, Loras Box 100, or to the e-mail address All names of those sending questions will be kept confidential.

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