Christmas in El Dorado Part 3
Wow, this Christmas was a blast! I don’t know where to start. If you remember, my sister’s fiancé, Eugene, and I put together a Christmas party as a gift to my sister. We invited friends but no family… it’s a party, after all.
Things took a dark turn when I invited Eugene’s rich grandfather, Red Beard. Apparently, Eugene and Red Beard don’t have the best relationship. But when he came through the door, I knew right away that this party was going to rock!
Red Beard came in with his ship and crew. You know the saying “party crashers”? Well, pirates take that quite literally. So, when I said he came in with his ship and crew, he literally crashed through the front door with his ship and crew.
If I learned anything after this whole extravaganza, it’s that pirates love alcohol. They cleaned out all the spiked punch I made. Then there’s their love for loud and obnoxious music. I mean the “Spongebob SquarePants Theme Song”? Come on now, we must have heard that, like, thirty times.
The fiancé thought it would be a good idea to kick Red Beard and his crew out. Even I knew that was a dumb idea and I’m the one who invited them. Red Beard challenged the fiancé to a duel. I wasn’t sure what a duel was until Roni explained to me that it’s just something old people do when they are about to get into a hissy fight. I tell you, this party just kept getting better and better.
By the end of the duel, the fiancé was hanging from the ceiling. Not hanging as in his neck was snapped. His underwear was hanging and he was receiving an ultimate wedgie. My own balls were in pain just seeing that. It’s a good thing my sister hates kids because those sperms of his are history.
When he got down he charged at me with a squeaky voice, yelling at me about inviting Red Beard. I couldn’t help but giggle. He just sounds so funny.
I stopped laughing once my sister arrived. She looked at the mess Red Beard’s crew made. I swear to the gods, I’ve never seen her twitch like that before. She twitches when I piss her off, but this was a little more of a psychotic twitch.
Long story short, my sister kicked Red Beard and his crew out. Don’t ask how, trust me when I say you just don’t want to know. All I can say is we need to get rid of that chainsaw.
My sister’s outburst put a damper on the party so everyone else left. Then she yelled at me, the fiancé, and then at me again. After that, the fiancé buttered her up with a big expensive gift (my original idea, by the way).
Later on, my sister admitted that it was the most fun she’s had in a while, chasing pirates with a chainsaw and all. I think it’s fair to say that it was a really good Christmas.