Brotherly Love: A Christmas Story Part 2

Brothers, a bond that no man, women, or thing can divide. In this case, the ones doing the dividing are the brothers. Santa Clause and his fraternal twin brother August Clause have never seen eye-to-eye. The two couldn’t be any more different. Santa is the father of Christmas; August is the father of two girls. Santa likes cookies and milk; August is lactose intolerant and hates desserts. Santa has white hair; August uses hair gel. August enters his parents’ house, surprising his mother and father. He explains how his business trip was canceled and decided to spend the holidays with them. His wife Savannah Clause is a swimsuit model. His two daughters, Lucy and Luna Clause, are identical twin toddlers. They are all given a tight hug by his parents. Santa and Mrs. Clause go over to greet them. Santa notices August’s rental car being a BMW. He gives the car a look of disgust. Santa and August walk up to each other. They share a hand shake. Santa grabs firmly. August grabs more firmly. Santa begins crushing August’s hand. August begins crushing Santa’s hand. The two finally let go. His parents help August and his family settle in. They join the dinner table. August is revolted by the meal prepared for Santa. He orders Chinese food. Santa’s eye twitches in anger and all he could think about is how to stuff August down a chimney while the fireplace is running. The next day arrives and the whole family looks for a Christmas tree. Santa brings his own axe, not realizing that the trees were already cut down. A security guard asked for him to put the axe away. August gives him a smirk. Santa purposely drops the axe on August’s foot, forcing him to limp for the remainder of the day. Once they agreed on the perfect tree, they head back home to add ornaments. Santa and August compete in being the fastest person to add ornaments on the tree. Several ornaments fall and shatter into many pieces. The rest of the family step back in fear of interfering with the competitive brothers. By the end of the decorating, only ten ornaments remained in one piece. The family spends the rest of their day at the beach. Santa’s mother, Mrs. Clause, and Savannah enjoy the sun. Santa’s father plays in the water with Lucy and Luna. Santa kicks sand toward August. A volleyball rolls over toward August. August kicks the volleyball as hard as he can, bouncing it right into Santa’s face. August with an evil smile says, “My bad.” Santa and August did nothing more but horrible things to one another.

As twelve days of Christmas have gone by: twelve drummers drumming goes off while Santa’s sleeping, eleven pipers piping in August’s bedroom, ten lords a leaping on Santa’s foot, nine ladies dancing pity Mrs. Clause and Savannah, eight maids a milking spike Santa’s jars of milk, seven swans swimming in August’s bath tub, six geese chasing Santa, five golden rings found in August’s food, four calling birds pooping on the BMW, three French hens pocking at Santa, two turtle doves attacking August, and a partridge in a pear tree hangs above a disturbed family.

To be continued…

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