Tips with Trish: My space too

Dear Trish,

I think I’ve done pretty well adjusting to having a roommate after years of having my own room at home. Thankfully, my roommate and I get along fine. We respect each other’s stuff, keep the room relatively clean and don’t have people over all of the time. Honestly I think I could have done much worse! On that note, however, I have run into one minor issue. My roommate literally never leaves the room. Okay, well maybe she goes to class and to the café, but besides that, she hardly leaves. I’m dying for some time to myself in the only space I can really call my own on campus. Is that too much to ask?

Signed,

My Space Too

 

Trish says,

You’re right in acknowledging that things could be worse. This is one of the better problems to have regarding roommates. With that being said however, you do deserve having a little time to yourself in that small box that you pay for each semester.

Try talking to your roommate about getting out sometimes for studying. Changing the scenery can sometimes be a good thing. Maybe you could try a few new places together like the lounge in your residence hall or the ACC or a certain place in the library. Sometimes fear or social anxiety keeps people in their room where they feel less anxious. Exploring something with her or talking to your RA about a floor study night may help this problem.

On a similar note, checking out some clubs and organizations on campus might also get her out. You don’t have to be manipulative to suggest some organizations on campus that she might enjoy. Studies show that involvement in college activities actually can improve academic performance besides helping students make valuable connections on campus.

If neither of these things seems to help, you are likely just living with someone who is an extreme introvert. Try talking to her about her schedule and being honest with her about being a bit jealous that she gets the room to herself more often than you do. Maybe you two could come up with some time that you could have a little time to yourself. It’s really not a lot to ask.

If these all seem too hard then just “bite the bullet” until the end of the year.  And when considering roommates for next year in these upcoming weeks, ask the hard questions of potential roommates. Don’t be afraid to be honest about your own habits as well as your needs and expectations. Speaking up now can make it a lot less stressful in the future.

Signed,

Trish

Add a Comment