Southern Hemisphere Horoscope
by Lou Stein
Mar 21- Apr 19
Times are changing Aries, it’s time to change with
them. Seriously Aries, daylight savings was ages ago!
Fix your clocks!
Apr 20- May 20
The stars are smiling on you Taurus. They are smiling
because they really liked that joke you told last
Tuesday at lunch, keep up the good work.
May 21- Jun 20
Don’t believe everything you hear Gemini. People
really loved the outfit wore yesterday. It looked so
good on you. All your friends agree, it brought out all
your best features.
Jun 21- Jul 22
It’s not easy being a water sign, is it Cancer? Well fear
not, things are going to get better for you! Well not
your immediate future- that looks pretty bleak. But
some day, things will look better.
Jul 23- Aug 22
Leo the stars have this important message for you:
“Leo. My dude. My pal. Listen, the money’s coming
just give us a few more weeks.”
Aug 23- Sep 22
This is a great time to start going to classes Virgo. It’s
called syllabus week, not syllabus month. Remember,
you only have yourself to blame for signing up for
Sep 23- Oct 22
You know how the saying goes Libra, “step on a crack,
you break your mother’s back.” Well, try not to think
about it too much this week. Everything’s fine.
Sidewalk cracks can’t tell you the future, only the stars
Oct 23- Nov 21
Spend some more time outdoors this weekend
Scorpio. The forecast this weekend says rain, the stars
don’t understand what rain is. What is rain to distant,
white- hot, orbs of condensed gas?
Dec 22- Jan 19
Who knew that this would be such a great month for
money? You didn’t that’s for sure Capricorn! Spend
your dubiously acquired wealth fast before people
Nov 22- Dec 21
The stars know you haven’t been getting enough sleep
lately Sagittarius. Frankly the stars are concerned. Is
it really safe to be putting your school work off as often as you do?
Jan 20- Feb 18
Take some time for yourself this month Aquarius. You
work hard, and you’ve earned the chance to put your
feet up for a while and watch all the drama that you’ve
been carefully manipulating unfold.
Feb 19- Mar 20
Pieces, we can’t keep reminding you to do your
laundry. We wanted to describe how and when
you’re going to have a run in with the love of your
life next week, but instead we are too distracted by
that growing pile of unwashed socks!