Southern Hemisphere Horoscope

by Lou Stein

Aries

Mar 21- Apr 19

Times are changing Aries, it’s time to change with

them.  Seriously Aries, daylight savings was ages ago!

Fix your clocks!

Taurus

Apr 20- May 20

The stars are smiling on you Taurus. They are smiling

because they really liked that joke you told last

Tuesday at lunch, keep up the good work.

Gemini

May 21- Jun 20

Don’t believe everything you hear Gemini. People

really loved the outfit wore yesterday. It looked so

good on you.  All your friends agree, it brought out all

your best features.

Cancer

Jun 21- Jul 22

It’s not easy being a water sign, is it Cancer? Well fear

not, things are going to get better for you! Well not

your immediate future- that looks pretty bleak. But

some day, things will look better.

Leo

Jul 23- Aug 22

Leo the stars have this important message for you:

“Leo. My dude. My pal. Listen, the money’s coming

just give us a few more weeks.”

Virgo

Aug 23- Sep 22

This is a great time to start going to classes Virgo. It’s

called syllabus week, not syllabus month. Remember,

you  only have  yourself to blame for signing up for

that 8am.

Libra

Sep 23- Oct 22

You know how the saying goes Libra, “step on a crack,

you break your mother’s back.” Well, try not to think   

about it too much this week. Everything’s fine.

Sidewalk cracks can’t tell you the future, only the stars

can.

Scorpio

Oct 23- Nov 21

Spend some more time outdoors this weekend

Scorpio. The forecast this weekend says rain, the stars

don’t understand what rain is. What is rain to distant,

white-   hot, orbs of condensed gas?

Capricorn

Dec 22- Jan 19

Who knew that this would be such a great month for

money? You didn’t that’s for sure Capricorn! Spend

your dubiously acquired wealth fast before people

catch on.

Sagittarius

Nov 22- Dec 21

The stars know you haven’t been getting enough sleep   

lately  Sagittarius. Frankly the stars are concerned. Is

it really safe to be putting your school work off as often as you do?

Aquarius

Jan 20- Feb 18

Take some time for yourself this month Aquarius. You

work hard, and you’ve earned the chance to put your

feet up for a while and watch all the drama that you’ve

been carefully manipulating unfold.

Pieces

Feb 19- Mar 20

Pieces, we can’t keep reminding you to do your

laundry. We wanted to describe how and when

you’re going to have a run in with the love of your

life next week, but instead we are too distracted by

that growing pile of unwashed socks!

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