11 Things to Actually be Terrified of This October

1. The Clowns – Seriously though. There are people dressing up in clown costumes all across the country (FYI there have been sightings in Dubuque) and walking around to creep people out. Multitudes of memes and GIFs have already surfaced online of people’s reactions. Laugh at them, but also know that you would probably do the exact same thing if you saw one of these bad boys.

2. An Early Winter – We just got over the heat. I want to enjoy my favorite season for at least the entirety of this month. I get cold easily and would like winter to stay away for a little while. We just turned off the air in our house, and I’d like a break from bills for a bit.

3. The Election – I don’t think this really needs any further explanation. I am genuinely nervous for the future of our country.

4. FAFSA – Will I get money? Will I not? Am I filling out this application right? Federal forms scare the heck out of me. Every time I do my taxes I’m afraid they’re going to send me to jail for marking a “1” or a “0” wrong.

5. The Flu – Any kind of viral disease is terrifying, especially during this time of year when we really can’t afford to miss any one class or risk falling behind and being buried under an avalanche of make-up work.

6. Midterms – They’re coming up, folks, and any kind of test that incorporates more than one unit of information is enough to make me quiver in my fuzzy socks. Especially the fact that I’m taking my AH, and am nowhere near a science major.

7. Tempting Sweets – I finally got my summer body by the end of August, only to soon have it ruined by free candy that seems to appear whenever I blink. Thanks a lot, all of you generous a-holes.

8. Midday Temperature Changes – I love wearing gray, but wearing it runs the risk of suffering from the dreaded October midday temp change when you start off stumbling through the arctic fog to class and emerge in a blistering heat that produces instant pit stains.

9. Early Christmas – I love Christmas music, maybe more than the average person, but don’t put it on before October, and chill with the early decorations: I always trip on the garland wreaths walking into stores. Let me enjoy gorging on Halloween candy before moving on to the next gluttonous holiday.

10. Couples Overload – Pumpkin patches. Apple orchards. Couple costumes. Matching puffer vests. I would like to participate in these activities as well, but unfortunately it’s a little harder to find outfits that fit both you and your cat. So I’ll just have to be satisfied with admiring everyone else’s fall photo shoots with their significant others. Great pic guys, sewww cute!

11. Last Fall on Campus – This is my last fall on campus, and I tear up a little every time I think about it. Every experience that I have from now on is a “last,” and the thought of leaving Loras is enough to scare me more than most horror movies (and I hid behind the couch the first time I saw “The Goonies”).

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