11 things only duhawks understand

1. The sound of a hawk’s CAW is a sign of success. It also makes a small
part of you hate succeeding.

2. When a person looks at you and asks “f’real?”, they want to know if you
want a cold, blended drink.

3. Syllabus week does not mean a week off. It is the week where
professors show how bad it can be, followed continuously by weeks
with less and less work, ending with an explosion of assignments all
due within two weeks.

4. Second dinner is God’s gift to Duhawks, designed to aid in all-nighters
and food comas simultaneously.

5. Soccer is the most exciting sporting event to attend.

6. Within a very small amount of time, a new addiction to Einstein Bros. Bagels has taken over your life and disintegrated your Duhawk Dollars.

7. Everywhere you look, there is a bottom or peak of a hill. It strangely
comforts and aggravates you at the same time.

8. You don’t know what to do when you can’t make it to Chicken Nugget
Monday in the Café. Part of you dies inside.

9. You believe Jane from the Café might have secret mind-reading
powers. Also, you have seen rays of sunshine on her, and perhaps even
a halo.

10. It’s nice to be in a place where everybody knows your name, and
sometimes it’s not so nice.

11.  The answer to the question “what is a Duhawk?” is one you will never
get tired of repeating.

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