1. Giving adults stuffed animals – we are no longer children. Don’t get me wrong, I still sleep with my childhood bear, my CHILDHOOD bear, but I don’t need a new thing to haul around each time I move res halls.
2. Those damn conversation candy hearts. THEY TASTE LIKE CHALK AND SAY THE SAME THING TO EVERYONE.
3. Paper hearts littering the surface of the earth. Those better at least be on recycled paper.
4. Photo collages on social media. Yes, dear, I would love to share our “special day” with 14 million other people around the world.
5. Red food coloring – Why? Dye? They’re similar because no.
6. Reserving spaces in restaurants. That seat has my name on it, get up. Again, we are ADULTS. You think planning ahead makes you deserve food faster?
7. Heart-shaped pizza. This growing phenomena is an outrage. You do realize you are basically just taking out a WHOLE SLICE of pizza to make that shape, right? The shape that isn’t even close to anatomically correct.
8. Cheesy pick-up lines. I love cheese as a noun, hate it as a verb.
9. Sparkles. Enough said.
10. Originality.. where is it? Why does everyone say the same thing, give the same candy and eat the same crappy heart-shaped food?
11. No one knows the real reason behind the day… look up Saint Valentine, fools.