A satirical column about the amusing incidences of college life; all names, etc., are intended to be fictional.
Halloween has come and gone, and Duhawks did not disappoint this year. Not content with traditionally spooky costumes, Duhawks took it a step further this year and dressed in Loras-themed costumes that truly spooked everyone they saw! Let’s take a look at the spookiest costumes by class:
First-year Jacob Mugsby made a big impression for his first Halloween on campus with his re-creation of a plate of Café food. Every Duhawk knows that Café food is “not the worst thing to eat,” but to see it outside of its natural habitat surely stirred up lots of frights among students old and new alike! Thankfully, it was chicken nugget Monday, so many students looked past the other parts of the plate in order to appreciate our favorite food tradition on campus. Good work, Jacob!
Sophomore Rose Rankin showed her spookiest costume so far by dressing up as Hennessy Hall. She completed the look by having a terrible and confusing layout, handing out rumors about her future – whether or not she would remain Hennessy or become some sort of other building – primitive classrooms, and a demeanor that had people exasperated just by the thought of talking with her. Students responded in classic Duhawk fashion by working out their party schedules to avoid Rose all night. Costume success!
Junior Tonya Hoya spooked the senior and junior classes by dressing up as a waitlist for every cluster being offered in the next two years. This is something that every upperclassman has seen and gives them nightmares about. Tonya spent her night waking up sleeping upperclassman with nightmares of not getting into a cluster and not being able to graduate because of a poor registration time. Many seniors were found running around after dark weeping because the spook was too real. So spooky, Tonya!
Senior Shawn Jackson took to the Rock Bowl and became the spooky 2013 football season: 1-9. It was a frightful reminder of a season that only our seniors were present for, but certainly scared the pants off all of them! In a current football season that may see the same fate as 2013, seniors were terrified by the reminder of what they started as and seeing where we are now. It was perhaps an ironic metaphor to many students about how the gains that were made as students do not always result in tangible rewards. What a timely spook, Shawn!